Our current reality is created and maintained by the stories we tell and re-tell. These stories reinforce our sense of personal and community identity; they make us who we are and who we will become. Our story is a vital part of our existence and of our sense of our self.
The stories that surround and support a conflicted society commemorate and help us to remember the past that has led to our present. They bear witness to what has happened; to injustices and hurts; to lost loved ones and comrades; they provide the justification for our past, present and future actions. They can also anchor us in time and prevent us from moving forward.
The Remember and Change project is an individual and collective process where participants have the opportunity to revisit their personal story, tell it and have it heard. In doing so, personal and collective history is acknowledged and validated. In listening to the stories of others understanding and empathy is supported to develop. And by sharing the different stories that contribute to the wider community story new stories of a shared and different future can emerge.
Remember and Change is about hearing all the experiences associated with the conflict; bearing witness to them; and together developing a new and different story. For some people the point of conflict resolution work is to “forgive and forget”. To apologise and accept apologies and then to move on. Remember and Change does not seek apologies or forgiveness. It is about remembering and honouring what has happened – the hurt, pain, injustices and anger – and then making a decision to pursue a changed future that learns from the past while making a conscious decision for a different future.
Remember and Change has two main components. Time to Remember is a storytelling process where participants have time to reflect on how the Troubles affected them and to tell their story to a small group. Whilst this is not therapy, it can have a therapeutic effect for the storyteller and for those who are listening. Participants find that they get a great relief from telling their story; often for the first time. Listening to other people’s stories gives a greater understanding of the lives of people who they may have seen as ‘other’. The joint storytelling moves it from being ‘my story’ or ‘your story’ to creating a sense of ‘our story’.
In Time for Change participants have the opportunity of going beyond telling their own story and listening to that of others, to having a deeper dialogue where contentious issues can be addressed and the underlying feelings of anger, hurt, blame and loss can be explored. Through working at a deeper emotional level, strong feelings can be explored and deeper understandings can be reached.
Participants on Remember and Change are people who consider themselves to have been affected by the Troubles. They include members of the security and emergency services, north and south; former loyalist and republican combatants; people who were injured; people whose family members were injured or killed; people who had to leave their homes through violence or the threat of violence; clergy, social and community workers and members of ethnic minority communities.
I have been working as a facilitator on the Remember and Change Project since July 2009.
If you are interested in participating in Remember and Change please contact the Donegal Peace Centre on 00 353 (0)74 9154892 or info@donegalpeacecentre.com. Further details on the work of Donegal Peace Centre are on www.donegalpeacecentre.com.
